59. The Mister Rogers Effect

The Mister Rogers Effect. Dr. Anita Knight Kuhnley. 2020. Baker Books. 208 pages. [Source: Review copy]

First sentence: I will never forget the day I had a discussion with my students that would send me on a transformative quest. It was quiet in the large, dark classroom filled with aspiring counselors. I flipped on the fluorescent lights and looked out into the sea of faces.

Though it is published by a Christian publishing company, Baker Publishing Group's Baker Books division, The Mister Rogers Effect isn't particularly Christian, religious, or spiritual.

This bothered me. A lot. It bothered me a lot. But I looked up BakerBook's mission statement (is that the right word?!?!) and this is what it said, "Baker Books has a vision for building up the body of Christ through books that are relevant, intelligent, and engaging. We publish titles for lay Christians on topics such as discipleship, apologetics, spirituality, relationships, marriage, parenting, and the intersection of Christianity and culture. We also publish books and ministry resources for pastors and church leaders, concentrating on topics such as preaching, worship, pastoral ministries, counseling, biblical reference, and leadership."

I suppose The Mister Rogers Effect falls under the "intelligent" and "engaging"? Or perhaps "the intersection of Christianity and culture." I won't lie.

The premise of The Mister Rogers Effect is simple: EVERY ONE SHOULD EMULATE (IMITATE) MISTER ROGERS. The world would be a better place if Mister Rogers could be duplicated a thousand-fold. Kuhnley offers readers the SEVEN SECRETS in how to be more like Mister Rogers.

Those secrets are:
Secret 1: Listen First: Listen with More than Your Ears  
Secret 2: Validate Feelings: Feelings are Mentionable and Manageable
Secret 3: Pause and Think: Take Time to Discover What Is Inside
Secret 4: Show Gratitude: Be Kind and Be Thankful
Secret 5: Develop Empathy: Be with People Where They Are
Secret 6: Practice Acceptance: Who You Are Right Now Is Acceptable
Secret 7: Establish Security: People Need to Know They Are Cared For

The chapters are written with a psychological approach. Everything is written with a psychological approach. This one is best for those with an interest in child development, sociology, or psychology. It is a technical book--but not technical in a theological sense. As I said the approach in this one leaves God, Jesus Christ, the Bible, the Christian faith, the Christian worldview out completely and totally. So when words like grace, gratitude, forgiveness, love, etc., are used they are not used in a biblical sense.

On the one hand, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Mister Rogers. I do. I felt loved, accepted, welcomed when watching the show. His songs spoke to me--and continue to speak to me.

On the other hand, I am not a disciple of Mister Rogers. Fred Rogers is not the center of my life. I have no need to channel Mister Rogers, to seek to be more like him, to ask what would Fred Rogers do in any situation. I do not think that Mister Rogers holds the answers and solutions for what is wrong with society. Even if people take away valuable lessons--moral and ethical lessons--that make them "better" people, this kind of reform cannot actually save. Now, I am not suggesting the author is suggesting this--that Mister Rogers has replaced the need for a Savior, Jesus Christ. That we will be judged by God on judgment day based on how well we lived up to our vision of Mister Rogers.

The world has many, many, many problems. I think Christian publishers should be pointing people to the actual savior, Jesus Christ, and not directing them to copy Fred Rogers.

© Becky Laney of Operation Actually Read Bible

Book Review: The Joy of Missing Out

The Joy Of Missing Out: Live More by Doing Less. Tonya Dalton. 2019. Thomas Nelson. 240 pages. [Source: Review copy]

First sentence from the introduction: OVERWHELMED. It was a beautiful spring morning, but I was too busy to notice the trees beginning to bud or the clear blue sky.

First sentence from chapter one: Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe. OPRAH WINFREY

Premise/plot: Dalton hopes to connect with her readers who feel overwhelmed and stressed in her new book, The Joy of Missing Out. What does she mean by the phrase 'joy of missing out'?

Noun 1. The emotionally intelligent antidote to busy; intentionally choosing to live in the present moment by embracing open spaces of unrushed time 2. An intense feeling of delight and happiness caused by centering your life on what is truly important and letting go of the “shoulds” and “have to’s” in life. SYNONYMS: unhurried purpose, intentional, priority-centered ANTONYMS: busy, hustle, frazzled, knock stuff out, having a full plate

The book falls into the 'self-help' genre though it is published by a Christian publisher. It's a book about productivity, effectiveness, goal-setting, and priorities. It's a super-practical book packed with cultural wisdom. It guides readers step by step on discovering their own unique 'North Star' and discovering their own core values that will help shape their vision.

Productivity is not about doing more—it’s doing what’s most important. We need to stop trying to get more done and instead reset our focus on our own priorities. When we do that, our ideal life can become our real, everyday life.

When we treat everything as equal, it means nothing is a priority. It all gets jumbled together and we begin to lose sight of what really matters.

You have more time left in your life right now in this very minute than you will have an hour from now. There is not another point in your lifetime when you’ll have the luxury of the amount of time you have right this very second. If there’s something you really want to do, today is the day to start. It’s possible for your future to look brighter, for you to focus on the things that are important to you. But to do that, your priorities have to take priority.

While we may not be sailors, we still need a constant in our life to help guide us through the darkness. Here’s the hard fact: we don’t just find ourselves on a fulfilling, deeply satisfying path—we create it for ourselves. The clarity comes from within us.

My thoughts: If The Joy of Missing Out was NOT published by a Christian publisher, would I be surprised--even shocked--by its contents? Probably not. In fact, I know I wouldn't. This is exactly what I'd expect to find in any self-help section.

But the fact that it is in fact published by a Christian publisher, well, it shook me a bit. Why? Because the word "God" only appears once. The word "Bible" only appears once. I believe the words "church" and "Sunday School" appear once in the same story. And prayer might accidentally be mentioned two or three times even. Perhaps. But there is not one Scripture verse quoted or even alluded to. The book (the Bible) that is supposed to be the one and only authority in our lives is completely and totally missing. (As is all mention of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.) Oprah is mentioned more than God. Think about that. Think. About. That.

Priorities, goals, mission statements, core values, visions...all without any reference at all to God the Father, Son, or Holy Spirit...without any reference to God's will...to His sovereignty...to the Bible...to eternity. There is nothing remotely Christian about this one.

There are plenty of quotes to be found in this one. All contemporary. All cultural. But not one of them is from a Christian theologian, author, or preacher.

“It is our choices . . . that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” J. K. ROWLING

“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.” LOUISA MAY ALCOTT

Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. COCO CHANEL

As Zig Ziglar said, “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.” 

Perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat. ELIZABETH GILBERT 

Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. LAURA VANDERKAM

What I do every day matters more than what I do once in a while. GRETCHEN RUBIN

The decisions you make determine the schedule you keep. The schedule you keep determines the life you live. And how you live your life determines how you spend your soul. LYSA TERKEURST

Sometimes it helps me to wake up in the morning and tell myself, “Today, I’m going to believe that showing up is enough.” BRENÉ BROWN

The world will see you the way you see you, and treat you the way you treat yourself. BEYONCÉ

As Zen priest and Buddhist teacher Joan Halifax shared, “There is the in-breath and there is the out-breath, and it’s easy to believe that we must exhale all the time without ever inhaling. But the inhale is absolutely essential if you want to continue to exhale.”

Do your thing and don’t care if they like it. TINA FEY

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. MAYA ANGELOU

I am conflicted in some ways. On the one hand, I think she's lacking a solid foundation, and I question her questions. The questions and framework she wants us to work with--start from--are not based on anything solid and lasting. They are build on cultural wisdom and pragmatism. On the other hand, it is very true we don't need all the things. Some of the conclusions she arrives at seem true enough. We do fill our lives with things that just don't matter, with things that we don't really want. Sometimes we do not know how to say NO. I do believe in using your time wisely and valuing minutes. But her process...well...I'm just not sure it's biblical enough to build your own system around.

If you're looking for a book where you are encouraged and pleaded with to put yourself at the center always then this one might be for you.


© Becky Laney of Operation Actually Read Bible

Book Review: The Christian Atheist

The Christian Atheist: Believing in God But Living As If He Doesn't Exist. Craig Groeschel. 2010. Zondervan. 256 pages.

Hi, my name is Craig Groeschel, and I'm a Christian atheist. For as long as I can remember, I've believed in God, but I haven't always lived like he exists. Today my Christian Atheism isn't as large of a problem as it once was, but I still struggle with it. Like a recovering alcoholic careful never to take sobriety for granted, I have to take life one day at a time.

The Christian Atheist reminded me a good deal of Erwin Lutzer's Ten Lies About God and How You Might Already Be Deceived. Except it might be about the lies you're telling yourself about your life or faith. Stephen Charnock said several centuries ago, "A God forgotten is as good as no God to us." That definition is almost as good as Groeschel's own.

The twelve chapters:

• When You Believe in God But Don't Really Know Him
• When You Believe in God But Are Ashamed Of Your Past
• When You Believe in God But Aren't Sure He Loves You
• When You Believe in God But Not in Prayer
• When You Believe in God But Don't Think He's Fair
• When You Believe in God But Won't Forgive
• When You Believe in God But Don't Think You Can Change
• When You Believe in God But Still Worry All the Time
• When You Believe in God But Pursue Happiness at Any Cost
• When You Believe in God But Trust More in Money
• When You Believe in God But Don't Share Your Faith
• When You Believe in God But Not In His Church

The book's greatest strength is its casualness, its openness; this nonfiction book is very reader-friendly. The book deals with a variety of subjects. Every single reader will be in a different place in his/her life, and the book, I believe, will minister accordingly. I think this book will meet the needs of readers. I think some chapters will definitely speak to readers. It just won't be the same chapter(s) for every reader. I think this can be a good thing. It is hard to outgrow a book like that.

I suppose one could argue that the book is so simple, so basic, that it shares nothing new with readers. But that isn't taking into account that sometimes people need someone to tell them OBVIOUS truths. Sometimes the person in need is the last to see what is "obvious" to others.

I felt the author came across as friendly--concerned, certainly, but friendly and not judgmental or condescending. The book is more a conversation, of sorts, than being talked at or preached at.

Perhaps the book's biggest weakness is its reliance more on stories and testimonies than on sharing Scriptures. Many of the theological books I read are saturated in Scripture--rich in God's Word. They speak truth, proclaim truth, teach truth--from the Word itself. The focus is perhaps more on God and less on our lives, our experiences, our trials and temptations. This book is focused on humanity, in a way. It places great value on human testimonies of their experiences with God. The theme of some chapters seem to be that you do God the greatest service when you share your stories about God, your testimonies, your answered prayers, your miracles with others. Tell of what God has done for you. People may be equally moved by seeing God working in your life than in hearing the gospel itself.

Favorite quotes:

Belief isn't the same as personal knowledge. For many people, the very idea that you could know God on a relational level seems unlikely, unrealistic, unattainable. (33)

When we let shame control our actions, we cannot know God, because we cannot live our lives for him. Christian Atheists may live as if God doesn't exist because, in their cycle of shame, it doesn't seem as if he does. (51)

We Christian Atheists can easily believe that God loves other people; we just can't comprehend how or why he'd love us. We hide our real selves from other people to ensure they won't reject us. How much more we hide from God! (60)

Christian Atheists believe in God and even believe that God loves people, but always other people, who are less sinful or more important. (65)

As a parent, I'd much prefer my young children to climb up into my lap and speak honestly. "Daddy, I'm afraid of the dark. Would you help me?" Imagine the same child standing before me, addressing me thus: "Grand Omnipotent Father of the Household, I beseech your presence. Great provider of all I have, grant me thy presence through the long watches of the night, for lingering fears beset me--verily, until dawn's first rays at last light my heart with hope." Odd picture. But that's exactly how many of us pray to our heavenly Father--or think we have to pray. (81-2)

When we're told to pray for those who've hurt us, I'm convinced our prayers are as much for ourselves as they are for the offender...my prayers for others may or may not change them. But my prayers always change me. (119)

Many Christian Atheists live year after year under the illusion that we simply can't change. Once we've forgiven ourselves for past mistakes, some surrender to present problems, never even hoping to overcome them. We may openly, even proudly, believe in God, but we honestly don't believe he can change us. (126)

The challenge is that many believe heaven is the default destination when, in fact, the opposite is true....if we embraced the reality that many are traveling toward an eternal hell and few are on the road to eternal life, don't you think we'd overcome some of our Christian Atheism and reach out to those who are walking on the broad path? (202)

God is not calling us to go to church; he is calling us to be his church, the hope of the world. (221)

© Becky Laney of Operation Actually Read Bible

Book Review: Never Say Diet

I am happy to be participating in Chantel Hobbs' blog tour for her books NEVER SAY DIET and THE NEVER SAY DIET PERSONAL FITNESS TRAINER. If you're anything like me, you're skeptical of any and every book on the market that's about dieting. Diets. Don't. Work. Ever. End of story, right?

And so I was happy to learn that Never Say Diet was different from most of the other books out there. It's the dieting mentality that doesn't work if we get down to it. If we're honest. Hobbs' approach is that it takes mental change to change your body. Her five 'brain-change' decisions are: Be truthful. Be forgiving. Be committed. Be interested. Surrender. Of course, that's just the start of it all.

This isn't a book to read while snacking. For the book to work, work. You've got to be there, mentally, emotionally, physically. You've got to commit to changing your life, your lifestyle, your daily decisions. The book is in two sections--the first part serves as an introduction and inspiration. The second part is for those ready and willing to commit to acting on what they read. (Then there is the second book, a companion book entitled The Never Say Diet Personal Fitness Trainer.)

From the publisher:

Summary: After years of failed diet attempts, Chantel Hobbs discovered the missing ingredient to permanent weight loss: to change your life, you first have to change the way you think.

She developed a balanced plan for exercise and nutrition and lost two hundred pounds. Now, through writing, speaking, and her work as a personal trainer, she inspires others to achieve far more than they thought possible.

In Never Say Diet, now available in trade paperback, Chantel provides everything readers need to lose weight for good, including:

* Simple, step-by-step workout routines that fit into a normal weekday schedule
* A realistic approach to nutrition that helps people break their bondage to food
* Strategies for staying motivated when life takes unexpected turns
* Keys to dealing with discouragement by relying on God’s strength
* The secret to moving beyond past failures and getting over old excuses

Chantel helps readers make the five commitments that are necessary for changing their lives. Her high-energy, no-nonsense approach inspires readers to achieve results that last in body, mind, and spirit.

Personal Trainer: Her newest book, The Never Say Diet Personal Fitness Coach, now allows readers to have Chantel show up each week to inspire, encourage, and energize them on the journey to a healthy life that centers on body, mind, and spirit.

This fitness guide helps readers set new weight-loss goals and create an exercise schedule that works in the midst of life’s constant demands. Readers will be inspired with Scripture, and they will welcome Chantel’s healthy eating plan with simple, energy-and-nutrition-packed recipes. Weekly checklists and personal evaluations direct readers in reaching their goals. Plus, Chantel’s personal and entertaining stories provide the motivation needed to get through even the most frustrating days.

With Never Say Diet and The Never Say Diet Personal Fitness Coach readers will establish new fitness habits that burn off excess weight, increase strength, and establish a new, healthy way of living.