A Memory Between Us. (Wings of Glory #2) Sarah Sundin. 2010. 432 pages. [Source: Library]
First sentence: Lt. Penelope Ruth Doherty braced open the window and drank in cool air to settle her stomach. "There, gentlemen. Isn't it nice to have fresh air in here?"
A Memory Between Us is set during the Second World War.
It has been almost nine years since I read A Memory Between Us by Sarah Sundin. When I first read A Memory Between Us, I loved, loved, loved it. The romance was between a preacher's son turned pilot, Major Jack Novak, and a nurse/flight nurse, Lt. Ruth Doherty. Ruth, our heroine, hates the idea of settling down, getting married, having children. In part because she thinks she doesn't deserve it--isn't worthy. Jack, our hero, falls madly in love with Ruth at first sight. But since she's strongly opposed to dating--even courting with marriage in mind--his love may have to be of the unrequited sort. He woos her--but not in a super aggressive, stalker-ish, creepy way.
Trigger warning. Something horrible happened in Ruth's past. Something that keeps Ruth from believing that she deserves to be happy, deserves to be loved, deserves to have a "normal" life. Ruth was gang-raped by three men repeatedly in an alley when she was fifteen or sixteen. She blames herself completely. Feels that she must have been asking for it. Feels that she deserved what she got. I don't know HOW many of her family members know, but, I know that at least one sibling does....and the sibling BLAMES RUTH and has cut her out of her life. When Jack learns, HE ALSO BLAMES RUTH. And he cuts her out of his life. His apology for being WRONG about blaming her doesn't come quickly. This conflict--the knowledge of her rape--comes between them for a chapter or two.
Very few people know about Ruth's past--the trauma that haunts her--but people do BLAME Ruth whenever men sexually harass her present day. Her superior(s)--those in charge of her job--actively dislikes Ruth because Ruth is beautiful. If men "can't help themselves" the blame is all on Ruth. She can't get along with any of the doctors or male nurses/medical staff. She doesn't feel able to complain about the men who harass her--who assault her--because either a) SHE WILL NOT BE BELIEVED (surely she's exaggerating) b) SHE WILL BE BLAMED (she must have been leading them on). They do make complaints about having to work with her. She is given an ultimatum. IF anyone files a complaint against her, she will lose her job. If she she files a complaint against anyone, she will lose her job.
Ruth is in a difficult position. The message she is hearing from almost everyone is that she is to blame whenever/however men misbehave or act inappropriately. No matter the situation, she is to blame. She does have a few friends here and there--some that know the whole story--that encourage her to forgive herself because God has forgiven her. That encourage her that she isn't forever tainted by the past, that she can find love and be happy. That shame doesn't have to hold her back from living. And that's a good message, in a way. But is it good enough??? Because in a way, while it is AWESOME that Ruth finds God and makes peace with the past, it doesn't really address the issue of whether or not Ruth is to blame. Again, Jack is "able to forgive" her for being raped. And something just persistently bothers me about this idea. He is seen as being oh-so-romantic and a swell guy for being willing for forgive her lack of virginity.
Things bothered me the second time around that didn't bother me the first time. I didn't love Jack as much this time around. I was angrier about the way things were. The fact that the military was not supportive of women who were risking their lives. The fact that Ruth's superiors blamed HER and saw HER as the problem, it is just all kinds of wrong.
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