The Weight of Memory by Shawn Smucker. [July] 304 pages. [Source: Review copy]
First sentence: Her words hover in the air, hummingbirds, and I hold my breath, glance up at the clock above the door, and watch the red second hand twitch its way through a minute.
Paul Elias, our protagonist, has just received shocking, life-changing news. His life expectancy is "anytime to three months." He is the primary caregiver of his granddaughter, Pearl. His only other family being a drug-addict son, John, whom he hasn't seen--or heard from--in four plus years. So what does he do? Well. He decides to pick up his granddaughter from school and go on a road trip back to his hometown of Nysa. He doesn't have family there. He doesn't even know if he has friends there. He hasn't been back to Nysa in forty years; he left soon after his wife's disappearance with his newborn son. I doubt that Paul has even googled his hometown. (Though he should have, in my humble opinion.) Still the pair head off to Nysa despite an increasing number of foreboding experiences on their journey. Hint: If you're heading into town and every person you meet says GO AWAY, THIS TOWN ISN'T SAFE ANYMORE. BAD THINGS HAPPEN HERE. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T GO OUT ANYWHERE NEAR THE LAKE, if you're smart you'd rethink your hasty, reckless, life-changing decision.
So what is Paul's plan? Paul's plan is to find somebody--anybody to raise Pearl. Yes, you heard me. He has driven across country to find a complete and total stranger to give his granddaughter to. And his criterion seems to be so low-key it's almost non existent. Are you breathing? Well, that makes you a possible caregiver for my one and only granddaughter.
There being no hotels in his hometown, he finds an emotionless person to go home with. True, forty years ago, these two knew each other way back when. But still. Despite forty plus red flags that are literally screaming out DANGER, DANGER, DANGER, DANGER, he is thinking Tom is the best choice for Pearl's next caregiver.
What else should you know about The Weight of Memory? It's written in the second person. The "you" being Pearl. The style is...atmospheric, eery, literary. The chapters alternate between the present and flashbacks of the past. Most of the characters, if not all the characters, are SUPER creepy. Despite being published by a Christian publishing company, there is absolutely nothing Christian about the text. In fact, I'd make the case that the book goes out of its way to be non-Christian in its supernatural-ness. I'm not sure if the right word for this one is supernatural OR magical realism OR perhaps a blending of the two.
I guess what bothers me most is that this book is published by a Christian publisher and yet stands against--or in opposition--to a Christian world view or perspective of death and the afterlife. Like Paul doesn't seem to have any clue whatsoever about what happens when you die, or, more importantly what happens after you die. It's not that he has doubts or questions. He's not even asking the questions. Or thinking about asking the questions. He's not seeking God. He's not seeking peace or assurance. Readers never see him praying, talking to God, thinking about God, nothing, absolutely nothing. And what the book presents instead....is...well disturbing.
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Throughout the book, there is a mysterious white-haired/silver-haired lady that only a few people can see. Pearl being one of them. Paul's wife, Mary, being another. Throughout the book, Paul stumbles across a few others that have seen her. She is a spooky/scary/haunting/creepy character that is often encouraging characters to do really super dangerous, not at all safe things. Things that will more often than not cause people to die. Yes, die. Hence all the foreboding, obvious warnings saying DON'T LIVE HERE. DON'T STAY HERE. GET AWAY WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
The fact that Pearl is conversing with her almost every single day and listening to her and doing her bidding....well it's just like someone waving a million red flags. Paul is oblivious. Like totally and completely clueless. Like, well, things aren't that bad. Pearl has always had her imaginary friends. Pearl has always like running away. (Which don't get me started on Paul's nonchalant parenting.)
DEEP DEEP DEEP
SPOILERS
Pearl goes on a mission for the mysterious lady (whom we learn is Death), and this has her essentially drown...traveling to the after life...which is an ocean/beach. There's a white house with her grandmother in it. The two have a conversation together...and Mary has a message for Paul that she is waiting and will be waiting for him to join her on the other side. Again, no mention of heaven...or hell...or Jesus...or God...or anything remotely Christian. Just this peaceful beach existence.
But putting ALL OF THAT ASIDE. I still wanted to yell and scream at Paul the entire book. WHY ARE YOU BEING SO STUPID?????? ARE YOU REALLY THINKING OF WHAT IS BEST FOR PEARL???? IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE HER WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER, WHY NOT DO IT IN THE PLACE YOU'RE LIVING NOW?????? DO YOU NOT KNOW ANYONE IN TOWN???? DOES PEARL NOT HAVE FRIENDS????? SURELY AMONG THE TEACHERS, PEARL'S FRIENDS' PARENTS, OTHER RESPONSIBLE HUMAN BEINGS YOU'VE ENCOUNTERED, YOU CAN MAKE A PLAN THAT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE. WHY DO YOU NOT CARE THAT YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER IS RUNNING WILD???? THAT SHE IS SEEING AND HEARING PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT THERE????? THAT HER ACTIONS ARE HAVING HARMFUL CONSEQUENCES???? IS THE TUMOR EFFECTING ALL OF YOUR LOGIC AND REASONING SKILLS????
And don't get me started on the ending of this one. There are a million reasons why the ending is just all kinds of WRONG.
Quotes:
- We paddle where we think we want to go, but all along it's the hidden current that takes us.
- Grief is hard and good. It is the disease and the medicine, all at once.
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